Mistaken, always second guessed, underestimated.
im still around
welcome to my silly life.
sidelines.
My morals once where.. To the guy that fucked me over, to go fuck him self and be on to the next one.. When i could care less about my appreance and, was never to chase after a boy who wasn’t going for half the chase..
Those were my morals, and untill a little someone came around more than once it’s been told i forgot them. Now i seem to be the stupid slut waiting on the sideline, being the last resort when he cant get anyone else, and loosing everyone who ever ment something to me.
Im now the girl that says she won’t cry but ends up breaking down inside the shower so she tells her self she’s not crying, and lets the water pour down her face
I dont want to leave- im simply not ready.
But, Im starting to loose my faith- im not waiting here forever to be watched as the slut on the sideline waiting for you.
If i loose all my faith I hope you know im leaving…
nothing will ever be perfect.
She says nothing feels different. How he left, several times before yet still came back once more. Is she ready for his wild ride.? It’s only one time, or has she been thrown off for the last time.?
The way he talks to her reminds her of what the summer bought so quickly, took away so slowly, and disappeared too soon- into nothing.
She tells her self that this could be almost perfect if they didn’t have thier past to ruin what they could have..
This girl - so young but not so innocent knows that perfection is a drug.. Once you with hold this posiness item it’s impossible to let go. Even though she doesn’t know how to achieve this perfection. She knows how it feels, she can feel it in her veins every time they talk. Rushing through, so quickly. She feels important by the guy who left her last. This is all she wanted was to be wanted. For oh so long.. Now she feels it, feels the perfection.
How long will his addiction last toward her.. & how hard will it be for her to stop, this obsession with feeling like the world has turned to perfection?
Nothing is simply ever perfect. In the end we will all come crashing down..
Be ready heart, prepare for a crash landing…
i ask why.
Everyone see’s it, everyone but her.. Everyone can see how he has the ability to walk all over her, expect her. She actually believes when he says “baby, i love you more than anything before..” Excuse me while I go puke.
Everyone can see how she’s eventually gonna get hurt in the end, people have told her how much she will cry, they try to remind her of the pain he’s once caused. Why wont this girl listen.. Does she not remember the night’s wasted crying over the bastard that she said will never be mentioned again. The one that couldn’t sleep cause every dream she had was about the one that hurt her most.
Why is she letting the occur all over again.. Is she ready for the pain to happen again? What if he accautally means it? She’s asking her self all these questions before she jumps in head first once again.
She knows with ever boy to walk into her life she’ll have her laughs and tears. You can re-make your mistakes as long as you keep learning but what the point if you keep hurting?
Why does she feel so happy? When she knows soon enough she’ll be the one left over again?
i dont give a fuck.
Sometimes I wish I could see my self though others eyes.. Wouldn’t everyone?
Cause maybe this mirrorr lies.
Maybe what I see, is what i want which is all a lie - and only others can see the truth.
Then sometimes I ask my self…
How come I got more guys than you? .
Maybe this mirror doesn’t lie. Maybe it’s the ruthless people watching over, raining down on my parade..
So here you go to all my haters.. Heres a big F-U .
Sincerly, from me to you.
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